Listen to this article谎言三叶草
My Three-leafed Clover of Lying
毕淑敏
Bi Shumin
人总是要说谎的，谁要是说自己不说谎，这就是一个彻头彻尾的谎言。有的人一生都在说谎，他的存在就是一个谎言。有的人偶尔说谎，除了他自己，没有人知道这是一个谎言。谎言在某些时候只是说话人的善良愿望，只要不害人，说说也无妨。
Everybody lies. It wound be a barefaced lie if anybody claims that he or she has never told a lie. Some people have been lying since they learned to speak, their whole existence constituting a web of lies. Others occasionally tell a lie and keep it as a personal secret: no one else ever learns that it was false. And sometimes one tells a lie out of good will – white lie, as it were, which does no harm to people around and is therefore excusable.
在我心灵深处，生长着一棵“谎言三叶草”。当它的每一片叶子都被我毫不犹豫地摘下来时，我就开始说谎了。
Deep in my heart grows a three-leafed clover of lying. Whenever I begin to unhesitatingly pluck a leaf, I begin to lie.
它的第一片叶子是善良。不要以为所有的谎言都是恶意，善良更容易把我们载到谎言的彼岸。我当过许多年的医生，当那些身患绝症的病人殷殷地拉了我的手，眼巴巴地问：大夫你说我还能治好吗？我总是毫不踌躇地回答：能治好！我甚至不觉得这是一个谎言。它是我和病人心中共同的希望，在不远的微明处闪着光。当事情没有遭到一塌糊涂的时候，善良的谎言也是支撑我们前进的动力啊！
The first leaf is called good will. Do not make the mistake of thinking that all lies are malicious. Good intentions may be more likely to induce one to tell a lie. I practiced medicine for many years. Whenever patients with an incurable illness held my hand and asked with worried looks in their eyes, “Doctor, can I be cured?”, I would instinctively blurt out a definite “Yes, of course!”, unaware that I was actually lying to them. This lie simply expressed a common wish shared between my patients and me, a glimmer of hope in the gathering dark. When things have not yet reached the worst stage, well-intended lies may encourage us to persist in striving forward.
三叶草的第二片叶子是此谎言没有险恶的后果，更像是一个诙谐的玩笑或是委婉的借口。比如文学界的朋友聚会是一般人眼中高雅的所在。但我多半是不感兴趣的。但人家邀了你，是好意，断然拒绝，不但不礼貌，也是一种骄傲的表现，和我本意相距太远。这种时候，我一般都是找一个借口推托了。比如我说正在写东西，或是已经有了约会……
The second leaf exhorts me to make sure that my lying will not bring harmful consequences. Lies can be more like a humorous joke or a tactful excuse. For instance, a gathering of men of letters would be, in the eyes of most people, a social occasion of high taste. But I am not interested in most of them, though I know the invitation is sincere. If I refuse to go, I would be regarded as being impolite, or even arrogant, and this is certainly not the impression I wish to give. So usually I would decline the invitation with a staple excuse, such as, I am now fully occupied writing an article, or I have got an appointment to keep.
第三片叶子是我为自己规定——谎言可以为维护自尊心而说。我们常会做错事。错误并没有什么了不起，改过来就是了。但因为错误在众人面前伤了自尊心，就是外伤变成内伤，不是一时半会儿治得好的。我并不是包庇自己的错误。我会在没有人的暗夜，深深检讨自己的缺憾，但是我不愿在众目睽睽之下，把自己像次品一样展览。也许每个人对自尊的感受不同，但是大多数人在这个问题上都很敏感。为了自尊，我们可以说谎；同样是为了自尊，我们不可将谎言维持得太久。因为真正的自尊是建立在不断完善自己的地基之上的，谎言只不过是暂时的烟幕。
The third leaf sets out a personal rule: I can lie in the name of protecting my self-esteem. We often make mistakes. These mistakes are mostly pardonable as long as we correct them in due time. However, confessing to one’s mistakes in public will hurt one’s self-esteem, turning an external injury into an internal wound in one’s heart, which may take a considerable time to heal. I do not intend to hide my own faults, indeed I will often spend a whole night, quietly and all to myself, making a critical examination of my mistakes. But I do not like to display myself like a shoddy product under the gaze of reproachful eyes. People may view self-esteem variously, but most are rather sensitive towards matters concerning their reputation. To defend one’s self-esteem, we can tell a lie, yet for the same reason we cannot let a lie go unchecked for too long, because real self-esteem should be built on consistent efforts to improve oneself. A lie is thus merely a puff of smoke, to be cleared soon after it appears.
随着年龄的增长，心田的谎言三叶草渐渐凋零。我有的时候还会说谎，但频率减少了许多。究其原因，我想，谎言有时表达了一种愿望，折射出我们对事实朦胧的希望。生命的年轮一圈圈加厚，世界的本来面目像琥珀中的甲虫，越发纤毫毕现，需要我们更勇敢地凝视它。我已知觉人生的第一要素不是“善”而是“真”。
With the advance of my age, the clover in my heart has been gradually withering. I still tell lies, but less often. Probing into the cause, I find that a lie may sometimes reflect a wish, a veiled desire to pursue the truth. The growth rings of the tree of life keep increasing, and the true features of the world are revealed in ever more detail, as clearly as insects in amber. This, we must accept with courage. The essence of human life, as I have come to understand it, is not benevolence, but rather honesty.
有的人总是说谎，那不是谎言三叶草的问题，而简直是荒谬的茅草屋了。对这种人，我并不因为自己也说过谎而谅解他们。偶尔一说和家常便饭地说，还是有原则区别的。
Some people are always lying. That is not a matter of a three-leafed clover, but of a who-knows-how-many-leafed haystack of absurdity. The fact of my having previously lied myself by no means permits me to forgive such liars: there is after all a world of difference between telling a lie conditionally and lying as often as one has meals.
（李运兴 译）
