There l was holding what would then determine my future in my hands. I didn’t know how to react, a part of me was happy l had come this far but the other part of me knew my dream of becoming an attorney was shattered right there and then. The work l had put in to come this far was immense. Against all odds l had made my family proud but why didn’t it feel like it?
My journey back home was the longest journey ever. The 260km that was from my previous school back to my city was just filled with me and my thoughts. Was my mom going to accept this? I mean she was the most hard working woman l had ever met , she had worked tirelessly to give me a comfortable life. How did this happen? I gave the exams my all. How on earth am l going to start having occupation crisis when my journey haven’t even started yet. I was told life begins after high school yet it didn’t feel that way. There was no occupation that l had prepared myself for other than becoming an attorney. It was my long time favorite job. From seeing TV shows like Scandal and How To Get Away With Murder, Shonda Rhymes had done justice on the shows. It gave me hope that l will one day become an attorney.
With our eyes glued at each other, tears started running down my cheeks. My mom had this worrisome look in her eyes. I knew that look, it was the disappointment look. I hadn’t told her what my results were like so when she saw me crying she just assumed l had failed. I put my hand into my purse and reached for the result slip so l could give it to her. I could see her hands trembling, she was afraid of holding the slip, l mean the slip did tell who l was going to be in the near future so she had every right to be nervous or angry l honestly didn’t know how she felt. She held the slip and started smiling and wiped away my tears at the same time. One can not become a lawyer without 15 points and above in Zimbabwe so she knew how the results affected me. She made my favorite meal okra and sadza and told me to rest. She told me we will discuss options tomorrow. The night was long, l tossed and turned, l barely slept. My mind was just everywhere. I closed my eyes around 3 am and woke up around 9. We had a family meeting after 9, my uncles and my cousins had their own opinions which was nothing close to what l wanted. I was given two options studying, Social Work or Journalism. The meeting was prolonged with people deciding if l should study in Zimbabwe or go to South Africa. In the back of my mind l was thinking they are really deciding my future for me but l am not doing any of that. I was exhausted from the journey l had the previous day and now this. They gave me a week to think about everything they had said.
A week came and still l had not made a decision. I reached out to my cousin who was studying International Law in China and told her the issue at hand. She explained how she had the same problem when her results came out. She told me she could start applying for me with the hopes that l will get accepted. We did all this behind everyone’s back. Studying in South Africa was different from moving halfway across another continent. My family was not going to accept this let alone the expenses that came with moving to China. I got my offer letter and sent the document to my mom and just like that, my dreams weren’t just dreams anymore they were coming to life.
Being given the chance to study something that l was always passionate about, being given the chance to change lives by doing the good work
that’s why l chose to study in China.