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屋子和读者渐渐消失了，我看见怒涛中的渔夫，战壕中的兵士，摩托车中的贵人，洋场上的投机家，深山密林中的豪杰，讲坛上的教授，昏夜的运动者和深夜的偷儿……子君，——她的勇气都失掉了，只为着阿随悲愤，为着做饭出神……
The room and the reader gradually disappeared, and I saw fishermen in the raging waves, soldiers in the trenches, nobles in motorcycles, speculators in the foreign market, heroes in the deep mountains and forests, professors on the pulpit, nocturnal athletes, and late night thieves… Zijun, her courage was lost, only for Ashi’s grief and anger, and for cooking, she was distracted
屋里冷了起来，火炉里的不死不活的几片硬煤，也终于烧尽了，已是闭馆的时候。又需回到吉兆胡同，领略冰冷的颜色去了。近来也间或遇到温暖的神情，但这却反而增加了我的苦痛。
The room became cold, and the lifeless pieces of hard coal in the stove had finally burned out. It was time to close the hall. It’s time to go back to Jizhao Hutong and appreciate the cold colors. Recently, I have occasionally encountered warm expressions, but this has actually increased my pain.
有一夜，子君眼里又发出久已不见的稚气的光来，笑着和我谈到在会馆时的情形，时时又带些恐怖的神色。我知道我近来的超过她的冷漠，已引起她的忧疑，只得也勉力谈笑。然而我的笑貌一上脸，我的话一出口，却即刻变为空虚，回向我的耳目，给我一个难堪的冷嘲。
One night, Zijun’s eyes lit up with a childish light that had not been seen for a long time, and he smiled and talked to me about the situation in the guild hall, sometimes with a look of terror. I know that my recent indifference over hers has caused her anxiety and suspicion, so I have to try to talk and laugh. However, as soon as my smile appeared on my face and my words were uttered, they immediately turned to emptiness and returned to my ears and eyes, giving me an embarrassing sneer.
一个极冷的早晨，子君有怨色，是从未见过的。我冷冷地暗笑了。她所磨练的的思想和豁达无畏的言论，到底还是一个空虚，而对于这空虚却并未自觉。她已不知道人的生活的第一着是求生，向着这求生的道路，是必须携手同行，或奋身孤往，倘使只知捶着一个人的衣角，那便只得一同灭亡。
One extremely cold morning, Zijun had a look of resentment that he had never seen before. I sneered coldly. The thought and bold speech she honed were still an emptiness, and she didn’t realize it. “She no longer knows that the first priority in human life is survival, and the path to survival is to walk hand in hand, or strive to be alone. If she only knows to pound a person’s clothes, she will have to perish together.”.
我觉得新的希望就只在我们的分离；她应该决然舍去，——我也突然想到她的死，然而立刻自责，忏悔了。幸而是早晨，时间正多，我可以说我的真实，故意引起往事，称扬娜拉的果决……
[注]：娜拉系世界名剧《娜拉》中的女主角。她因发现自己不过是丈夫的一个玩偶后，毅然出走。
I feel that the new hope lies only in our separation; She should definitely give up, – I suddenly thought of her death, but immediately blamed herself and repented. Fortunately, it was morning, and time was running out. I could say that I was real, deliberately causing past events, and calling Yannara’s determination
[Note]: Nara is the heroine of the world famous drama “Nara”. After discovering that she was just a doll of her husband, she resolutely ran away.
“是的。”她沉默了一会说，“但是，——涓生，我觉得你近来很两样了。可是的？你，——你老实告诉我。”我觉得这似乎给了我当头一击，但立即定了神，说出我的意见和主张来：新的路的开辟，新的生活的再造，为的是免得一同灭亡。
“Yes,” she said in silence for a moment, “But, Juansheng, I think you’ve been very different lately. But? You, tell me the truth.” I thought it seemed to give me a head blow, but I immediately calmed down and expressed my opinions and propositions: the opening of a new road, the reconstruction of a new life, in order not to perish together.
临末，我用了十分的决心，加上这几句话“……人是不应该虚伪的。我老实说吧：因为，应为我已经不爱你了！但这于你倒好得多，因为你更可以毫无挂念地做事……”她的脸色陡然变成死了似的；瞬间便又苏生，目光四射，在空中探求，却回避着我。
At the end of the day, I used a lot of determination and added these words: “… people should not be hypocritical. Let me be honest: because, it should be because I don’t love you anymore! But this is much better for you, because you can do things without thinking…” Her face suddenly turned to death; Instantly, he came back to life, his eyes shining, searching in the air, but avoiding me.
我不能看下去了，幸而是早晨，我冒着寒风离家而去。我突然想到她的死，然而立刻自责，忏悔了。
I couldn’t watch anymore, but luckily in the morning, I braved the cold wind and left home. I suddenly thought of her death, but immediately blamed myself and repented.
在图书馆里我看见了《自由之友》，我的小品文都登出来了。这使我一惊，仿佛得了一点生气。然而寄来的却只有两张书卷，两角和三角的。我单是去信催问就用了九分邮票。一天的饥饿，又都白挨给于一无所得的空虚了。
In the library, I saw “Friends of Freedom”, and all my essays were published. This surprised me, as if I had gotten a little angry. However, only two volumes, two corners and a triangle, were sent. I used a nine cent stamp to urge my inquiry. The hunger of the day was again given in vain to the emptiness of nothing.
